Fading Memories
by Lightofstar
Summary: Talia hasn't been the same since her final attack against Batman. Now she has to wonder what was real and what isn't. Some SPOILERS for Batman INC.


Her rebirth had been unexpectedly complicated, more than any of their research people had foreseen. In her current state they didn't know if she could mentally take another dip. Not so soon after the first traumatic test run. They never told her but her hearing still worked properly no matter what they seemed to think as they carried on their conversation within earshot. They made assumptions simply because she didn't wish to respond to them.

The Lazarus Pits were preferable to the new processes her father was trying. She was sure they were for his benefit as Ra's Al Ghul always put his need to conquer death above all else, family included. Logically she knew the murky pool of water she had risen from had been scorching hot but she hadn't felt it against her skin. Nor the heat of the desert they stood in later on in the day. There was no taste to the meal they sat down for only strange textures against her tongue. Her father spoke a great deal of business and revenge. Matters that she couldn't find the least bit interesting and her thoughts often strayed to the most random of things. Questions that seemed too ridiculous to deserve answers. Surely they were just flights of fancy. Mingling terrors of dreams and experiences that couldn't be true. Yet she couldn't get the images out of her head.

"Father?"

Ra's nearly dropped his goblet of wine in amazement. Before her assassination she would have thought it was a fine achievement to startle the Demons' Head. That was a lifetime ago, a time she wouldn't have remained silent. Not like this, not to the point her father had wondered if speech was beyond her capabilities.

"...Talia?" He hadn't fully composed himself, a weakness he never would have let lower league members witness. As if realizing this their foot soldiers bowed before leaving the family alone in the dining area.

"Where's Nyssa?" Her gaze bored into his as if willing him speak.

"Nyssa." The name was said flatly with nothing to give away what the man felt about the person attached to it.

Sitting primly in her seat Talia waited for him to say more but no more words were forthcoming. "Yes. My sister."

Finally Ra's broke eye contact enough to simply blink. When his eyes fluttered open he placed the goblet he had been precariously holding back onto the table. His tone was cautious and deceptively gentle. Perhaps he was trying to be tender but it felt slightly condensing. Emotions like concern, distress and anger were quickly contained making her wonder if her mind was playing tricks on her."Daughter...you have no sister. There is no Nyssa."

Talia didn't say anything else for two days. Not until they were visiting the dojos in the training area of 'Eth Alth'eban.

The future generation of the league of assassins trained under their sensei just a level below them. Their master, the great Demon Head, had come for a update and to bless the new children to be born under his rule. His right hand covered a swelled belly fondly. Suddenly a pang of loss had struck Talia but she couldn't quite connect with it. Distantly she was aware of it but she couldn't feel the full weight of the emotion. Just fleeting traces of something that should have made her sorrowful. The only thing she knew for sure was that certain details escaped her.

"I was pregnant." That was something she felt confident enough state as fact rather than ask in a question. Even so Talia wasn't sure what was a true memory and what was a falsehood.

"Yes. You had a son, Damian." The surprise was less evident since their last conversation. Ra's Al Ghul had mastered himself enough to appear strong though his eyes still betrayed him.

"Did I carry him too term or was he...grown?" The phrasing on the latter half felt thick on her tongue. As if she was speaking of a plant rather than a child. It felt too cold to be spoken of by a mother yet the subject it's self hardly inspired any solid recognition beyond simple scraps of information.

"He was grown in a tank to weed out any genetic imperfections." Ra's stroked his chin thoughtfully giving a faint distant smile. "I admit it's not what I expected but given how childbirth used to be in my day I can not argue with the practical applications of the technology. Do you wish to know about Damian?"

Talia stared impassively giving no hint of her true desire.

"He's dead."

The response earned her a raised eyebrow. "At the moment, yes. I do plan on resurrecting him at some point. The problem lies with the new revival process which may not work well on a child. Still it-daughter?"

Their discussion was one she had quickly lost interest in. Although to be fair nothing seemed to keep her focused for long. Not even things that used to be precious to her, like her treasured necklace. Truth be told Talia wasn't sure how she came into possession of it. One memory tells of her father giving it to her on her fourteenth birthday, another says it was among the hidden wonders they unearthed on a dig and yet another has it given by her beloved. This will not be another question she will asks for clarification. Whatever it's origin the item is personal, something she can't find it in her to share with another. Holding it to the sun makes it shimmer brilliantly attracting all eyes. It's a beautiful piece that gives her a moment of happiness before turning into a mocking object. Reminding her of something far from her reach that she can not hope to possess. Talia couldn't bear to wear it but can't find it in herself to part with it. At this rate it will turn into a consuming obsession and she already wonders if her grip of reality is slipping.

At night her mind taunted her, at day she found herself crying and not knowing why. Only the wetness informed her of the act. Nothing is real for Talia Al Ghul and so nothing can be trusted. There's nothing to feel, to taste, even her mind plays tricks on her. Did she once have a half sister that brutally murdered her and brought her back through the Lazarus Pit again and again until she was broken? Was her son even created out of mutual love? How did her mother die?

These questions Talia used to know the answers to but her mind is fractured. Separating fact from fiction would be nigh impossible. Father hasn't always been honest with her, that much she recalls perfectly clear. Rarely has their been anyone she could speak openly and honestly with that won't betray her confidence to him. Thus she's alone as ever without even the comfort of knowing her dark knight will fight for her. Yes, Talia recalls enough about him to know he was once a fantasy she futilely tried to pursue. Perhaps it was childish for her to ever believe they'd have a fairytale ending. Talia had been young, perhaps not naïve but surely she had been allowed one innocent dream to strive for?

She's alone as ever in the midst of the paradise of the gardens trying to desperately find peace when there's none to be found. The reflection in the pond doesn't match her own. She's not the Talia Al Ghul she remembers being, in her place is a sad stand in. Frail, just as weak as everyone always assumed she was. The smack of her hand against the surface ripples the image, distorting it further.

A sharp laugh comes unbidden from Talias' throat because it's such a perfect metaphor for her life. It shouldn't be funny, it's not but at the same time it is. Perhaps she's not as numb as she thought.

Oh she feels emotions but it's hard to bridge the gap of memory to them. Sparks of sorrow and anger but nothing whole. At least at first, because there's one figure from her shards of recollection in her life daily. Resentment sets in no matter how doting father is because her life has ever been trapped in a stranglehold because of him. Affection lingers against her more negative feelings something that will likely never die. Talia always did love those that hurt her the worst.

"Daughter? I was wondering if you would like to add any insight onto the plan?" His movements must have been silent for him to sneak up on her like this. The alternative of her simply not noticing his presence...no. Talia wouldn't entertain such thoughts, she's not that far gone.

"Plan?"

There had been much talk of righteous vengeance against the detective on behalf of the Al Ghul family. Batman...Bruce Wayne...her beloved...she didn't care what was done to him. Only that he suffered for allowing her to become like this. For...for...

"The detective has spit in our faces and saw fit to throw us asunder. Taking Damian from us, a heir to the house of Al Ghul! Such grave offense deserve to be returned in kind."

His words spark a flash of memory of a suicidal madness she once possessed. Knowing deep down that nothing she felt would affect the stone of a man she had fallen in love with. She suspects that even then she wasn't quite herself but can't say why. There's missing information that's needed to explain how she went from a woman willing to forsake her life with her father to the woman waging war on the world. Supposedly she once had principles before she would forfeit them for pettiness.

"The league is being rebuilt and we have another army that simply needs to be grown. This alone would be formittable but we shall strike at the heart. We will return the favor and take the detective's own family from him! Starting with the boy death could never fully claim."

"Damian?" There's no other boys Talia can think of.

Brushing her hair away from her face Ra's fearsome demeanor softened. "No my daughter. Damian is still beyond our reach at this juncture. The boy I speak of it one of the detective's adopted sons. Perhaps you remember him? Jason?"

A image of a boy with jet black hair and sparklingly determined blue eyes comes to mind. She aided him after his was murdered and became a mentor of sorts. Jason Peter Todd was the name on his death certificate. He had grown into a handsome young man and now was in his late teens. Jason wasn't as limited as her beloved and didn't play by the same rules. The boy, she had plans for him but he was hard to predict. A piece of the puzzle was missing-

_"Don't kill him! Don't kill him!"_

...Jason had chosen Bruce over her.

"Yes." What had he done that made her so furious?

"Good. He'll be joining us. Soon the heirs of Wayne will be ours."

For the first time since her rebirth Talia Al Ghul smiled. "I think I'd like that father."


End file.
